10 Statements: Why You Should Welcome Failure in Life

A new year has begun and most people, in an attempt to make good on their resolutions from the previous year, are determined to accomplish something that has eluded them. Whether it is to lose those last five, ten, or 100 pounds, to travel to an exotic island, or to get your memoir about your year as a dog food tester published, you have failed in the past. But, that is okay.

Read below.

These ten little encouraging statements, which I found taped to a cabinet in my mom’s kitchen an hour before the ball dropped in Times Square, were typed on a newspaper clipping that has turned brown with age, presumably having been printed in the early 80s. The message, though, is timeless.

“Don’t be Afraid to Fail” - Author Unknown
You have failed many times, although you do not remember.
You fell down the first time you tried to walk.
You almost drowned the first time you tried to swim.
Did you hit the ball the first time you swung the bat?
Heavy hitters, the ones who hit the most home runs, also strike out a lot.
R.H. Macy failed seven times before his store in New York caught on.
Novelist John Creasey got 753 rejection slips before he published 564 books.
Babe Ruth hit 714 home runs, but he also stuck out 1,330 times.
The message is: do not worry about failure.
Worry instead about the chances you miss when you do not even try.

I love this! I cannot imagine getting 753 rejections to a book and still sending out my manuscript one more time. And I am sure you heard the incredible story about Thomas Edison. If not, I will enlighten you. Thomas Edison, the inventor of the light bulb, failed over 1,000 times before he got the light bulb to work properly. Of his failures, Edison is quoted as saying, "I have not failed 1,000 times. I have successfully discovered 1,000 ways NOT to make a light bulb." What an amazing perspective! Could you imagine our world if he had given up?! What will the world be missing out on if YOU don't give it one more go (or 587 more)?

The Bible is full of stories where failure was part of the plan.

God told Abraham to leave his family's house, promising that he would be the father of a great nation. Year after year he and his wife, Sarai, tried for children but it took them more than 20 years to conceive Isaac. That is thousands upon thousands of days being reminded that you do not have children and, therefore, are not the father of a great nation. Abraham did not lose faith, though. (Read about Abraham's story in Genesis chapters 11 through 25.)

Joseph had a God-given dream that he would rule over his brothers but, after sharing this vision with them and facing the crazy repercussions (being thrown down a well, sold into slavery, then landing in jail) he could have easily thought that he had failed. Many years later, though, after being placed in one of the top positions for the entire land of Egypt (second only after the pharaoh), he had the power to control whether his brothers lived or died when they came to buy food from him during a time of famine. What if Joseph stopped working towards God's plan? (Read Joseph's entire story in Genesis chapters 37 through 50.)

Moses is another example of a success story that had failures along the way. Moses was not a great speaker but God wanted him to speak before the ruler of a country! I couldn't imagine. God allowed Moses to use his brother Aaron to speak most of the time. God places people in our lives that can help us to fulfill God's will for us. Also, God told Moses that the pharaoh would reject Moses. This was a planned failure. Moses moved forward, anyway and, ultimately, his goal--God's goal--was realized. (Read Moses' story in the book of Exodus.)

If you think about it, Christianity is founded on an ultimate failure: someone had to die to save the rest of us. Death doesn't seem like a huge success but because He died, Jesus fulfilled God's will and allowed those that believed to be saved. "Failure," or obstacles, sometimes need to be part of the plan.

This year, I am determined to keep trying and--even if I fail--I will never give up. If the same items show up in my “2013 Goals” file that made their original appearance on my 2012 list, that is fine with me—as long as I am making an effort to one day put a check mark next to the entry.

Do you like the message from the unknown author? Are there things you are going to work towards this year no matter the outcome? Leave a comment below!

Top 10 Things We Learned About Blogging in 2011

We technically started blogging in 2010 but didn’t really get “serious” (we are still not really that serious) until last month. Since 2011 is coming to a close, we wanted to offer some insight into some of our joys and pains as new bloggers.

Here goes—the top 10 things we learned this year:

10. You CAN make money blogging! If you are reading this on our blog site, it is clear that we have monetized it. This fact should be also clear even if you are a Feedburner subscriber but, from what we can tell, we messed something up because Adsense never seems to show up in the feeds!

Anyhow, we have seen small amounts of money roll in from Adsense and our affiliate links. Well, if we had reached the thresholds to actually receive a payout then the money would have literally rolled because it is merely change. We could go out to eat and buy a cheap appetizer with the money we have earned from blogging but, again, that would be if we actually had a payout yet!

That being said, making money is not our main goal for this blog. We really want to talk about God and what it means to be a follower of Christ. We genuinely want to help people and to meet people who can help us!

We have met several people personally and have read about many more who make money blogging. Read on and find out what can better your chances for increased traffic, which equals increased income.

9. People love lists: You know this because you are reading this list! Think of a title or subject, then think how you can quantify it.

8. People love How To’s: If you are not going to write a list, put a “How to…” in front of your title and watch your page views climb!

7. People love juicy headlines: Being that this is a Christian site, you might think it is difficult to have juicy headlines. It is to some extent but we have noticed that the juicier the title, the more readers we get. I wrote 3 Lessons I Learned When I Thought My Husband Was Dying and got a good amount of reads but then when I wrote My Daughter Flipped me the Bird: 3 Things I Leaned About Christian Parenting, or Is 15 Too Young to Lose Your Virginity, or 7 Reasons Why Christmas Is NOT a Big Deal in Our Househould, or Explain to Your Fans Why Barbie Has Her Hands in Another Woman’s Pants, we saw triple the amount of post views! Figure out how to make your title more controversial or “edgy” to draw people in.

6. Social Media is Your Friend: Twitter and Facebook are great for meeting new people, finding out what they do, and letting them know what you do. It is great to interact with others online—not only to increase your traffic but to learn about what is going on in the rest of the world. If you are not using BOTH of these outlets, you NEED to! Please, though, when you start sending updates, only press “Send” if your message will engage, empower, entertain, or educate your readers (we always want to tweet this statement but feel that it will offend the person who just tweeted what they had for lunch!).

Also, joining Blog directories and communities like Bloggers.com, FaithVillage.com, BlogaholicNetwork.com, and FaithfulBloggers.com are other wonderful ways to meet people who are blogging about similar topics.

We know LinkedIn, Digg, StumbleUpon, and Delicious, among others, are also probably great—we just do not use them (as of right now).

5. “Transmedia” is Your Friend: We just learned this term from our friend Amber Dobecka over at Faith Village (who we met on Bloggers.com!). Transmedia storytelling (or cross-platform storytelling) is a way of creating content to engage audiences using multiple techniques. For example, instead of just writing this blog post, we could make a YouTube video, host a webinar, broadcast on Blog Talk Radio, or create a photo story. Of course, we are not going to do all of that for this post (at least not right now) because this is an area of blogging we are just learning about and we, frankly, suck at. We will work on this for 2012, though!

4. Stay within 500 to 1,000 words: We’re not sure if we are going to be within this threshold for this post but we will try! People really will be more likely to read your posts if you do the same.

3. People love to talk “off-thread”: We learned this from Matt at The Church of No People. Every time a new person comments, as long as they leave a real email address, we send them a “Thank-you-for-commenting-here’s-what-we-thought-about-what-you-had-to-say” email. People really appreciate it. You can also use this as an opportunity to tell people about what you have going on and how they can get involved (newsletters, RSS subscriptions, causes, etc).

2. If you want consistent readers, you need to be a consistent writer: We are not consistent writers. We do interact with several people due to our blog posts but the numbers would be higher if we wrote on a more consistent basis. This is also another thing we hope to change in 2012.

1. You can never stop learning: If you want to reach people with your blog, whether your goal is to earn an income, to build community, or to motivate social change, you can simply never stop learning about blogging and social media.


Do you blog? What have you learned on your journey so far? Leave a comment below!


ps. We stayed under 1,000 words! Including this post-script, we are at 960! :-)

7 Steps to Cure Anger, Bitterness, and Resentment

In an attempt to better understand my husband, I read a book by Tim LaHaye titled Understanding the Male Temperament: What Women Want to Know about Men But Don't Know How to Ask

I can’t say that I see Wil as less of a strange being but I can now say that I (somewhat) understand why he is so “strange” and I know that he is not alone—I think ALL men are a bit odd (I’m just kidding guys, I do not want to crush any egos here!). In the book, I found great wisdom regarding not only understanding men but understanding people, in general.

Depending on your temperament, many situations can spark feelings of anger, bitterness, and resentment. In our relationships as wives, husbands, mothers, fathers, girlfriends, or friends, we must remember that anger and fear stifle communication. To have healthy, productive relationships, we must learn to let negativity go.

Most people use the fact that they are "under pressure" as justification to their anger issues. Well, pressure doesn't make your spirit--it reveals it. What a man or woman is under pressure, it what that person is. Matthew 7:20 says, "Thus by their fruit you will recognize them."

Anger is not a measure of strength (or masculinity, for the men reading this). Galatians 5:22-23 states, “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law."

Angry mothers and fathers produce angry children. Anger is a sin and God condemns it. Bitterness, resentment, and indignation are subtle forms of anger and are, therefore, sins also.

How to cure anger, bitterness, resentment:

1. Face your anger as a sin. Don't justify it, explain it, or blame someone else. No more saying, “Well, you made me…(fill in with said angry action).”

2. Confess every angry thought/deed as soon as it occurs. “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness,” according to 1 John 1:9.

3. Ask God to take away the angry habit. In 1 John 5:14-15 it says, “This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us. And if we know that he hears us—whatever we ask—we know that we have what we asked of him.”

4. Forgive the person who has caused you anger. Ephesians 4:32 teaches us to be “kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.”

5. Formally give thanks for anything that "bothers" you. 1 Thessalonians 5:17 says, "...pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus." God will use these situations to bring Him glory. Do not ask me how but, He can make anything be used for good.

6. Think only good, wholesome, and positive thoughts. Philipians 4:8 says, “Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.” Ephesians 4:29-32 says this, "Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you."

7. Repeat the above steps every time you are angry.


These things are going to be difficult to do. These steps require that we put our pride away, put on our “big girl/big boy underpants,” as my friend Tonya would say, and that we do some things that may not make complete sense to us (who gives thanks for “bad” things?). Even if you only consistently do one of the steps in the above routine, I believe that you will build a closer relationship with God. Either that or you will just get angry that the process isn’t working for you!

Do you have any things that you help you to work through situations that cause you to get angry?

This 33 Minute Video Will Change The Way You View Life!

I saw the above video at a Bible study and when it started, I didn't know what to expect. I’m not going to get too wordy here because I really want you to press "Play." Let me just say, about 10 or 15 minutes in, there is a twist that will surprise you!

The video is 33 minutes long. If you have blazing fast internet, you probably won't need to let it load. Otherwise, press Play then Pause right away and let it load for five to ten minutes or so. I would say watch it at home, not work!

After you watch it, come back here and let us know your thoughts!

Introducing Nu Life Energy

There is a new company that has just hit the Atlanta market, NU LIFE ENERGY, be on the lookout because this company is doing things that are totally against the grain. They are looking to partner with small businesses, schools, churches and non-profits. If you are in the need for a job or know someone that is, follow them on twitter @nulifeenergy for employment opportunities and ways of getting involved. For immediate consideration to work promotional events as well as ground breaking opportunities please send your resume to info@nulifeenergybands.com.

Is 15 Too Young to Lose Your Virginity?

I am part of an "opinion community" (I guess that's the best way to describe it) called Soda Head. The question "Is 15 too young to lose your virginity" was posted a few days ago in response to an interview with Sex in the City star, Kim Cattrall.

Kim lost her virginity when she was 15 and has repeatedly said that is one of her regrets. "I should not have had sex so young. I lost my virginity at 15 and thought, 'Is that it?' I was not ready for the experience. It set a pattern after that. I was not expecting a great deal from sex -- and I did not get it either," she reportedly told The Sun.

The author of the Soda Head article said that she thinks that this teen sex issue has been "clouded so long by fear and moral judgment that people are not even sure WHY teens should abstain." She said that she will help her kids to make an informed decision about sex be telling them about: birth control, condoms, the emotional ties that sex creates, how reputations are effected by sex, and about the lifespan of high school romances.

There were mixed responses on the forum.  A substantial amount of people said that it is not too young and a larger group of people said that it is too young. Larger still was another group: the "it depends" people.

In my opinion, asking this question without a frame of reference such as what culture the 15-year-old belongs to, would produce the "it depends" answers. In certain cultures, kids are married with one or two children before they would legally be old enough to drive in America.

So here is the question rephrased:

In America, is 15 too young to lose your virginity? Why or why not?

The Bible Says:

In 1 Corinthians 6:16 it says,

"...Two will become one flesh...All other sins are outside the body but he who sins sexually against his own body...Your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit...Therefore honor God with your body."

In Hebrews 13:4 it says,

"Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure..."

My Opinion, confession, and plan:

Very predictable answer but, oh well: WAIT UNTIL MARRIAGE! I don't think there is a "good age." I didn't wait until marriage but I wish I would have. If you're not going to wait until you're married, if you are not holding yourself and your kids to that standard--God's standard--why wait until you have a certain number of birthdays?

For my daughters, I plan to show them what living for God in every area of your life looks like. I pray that they will follow my lead and strive to please God with their actions; I pray that they will be patient, unlike their mama, and wait.

If you feel that 15 it is too young, what age is a "good age"? What will you do (or are you doing) to prevent your children from engaging in sex before a specific time?

Little Girl Praying

You don't even have to watch the whole video to know that Hannah's parents have been training her and that she has a gift! Hannah is only three-years old. Wow.

I must admit that my prayer life is lacking. Do you pray? Does your prayer life need to improve?

[smartads]

Some things the Bible says about prayer:

“Call to me, and I will answer you; I will tell you wonderful and marvelous things.” (Jeremiah 33:3)

“If any of you lack wisdom, you should pray to God, who will give it to you.” (James 1:5)

Jesus assumes that we will pray to God, “When you pray, go to your room, close the door, and pray to your Father, who is unseen.” (Matthew 6:6)

A few things the Bible says about children:

"Teach them [children] the decrees and laws, and show them the way to live and the duties they are to perform." (Exodus 18:20)

"Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it." (Proverbs 22:6)

3 Lessons I Learned When I Thought my Husband was Dying

A few days ago I was contemplating how I was going to live my life as a widow. I was scared. My husband was in the emergency room and the doctor did not know what was wrong with him. He had a fever of 105 degrees, which apparently is normal for children but very uncommon in adults.

A few hours earlier, I was awakened by Wil as he was shaking in our bed.

“Stop,” I nearly yelled at him.

“I can’t,” he said through his chattering teeth, “I’m so cold.”

I touched him and he was burning.

“What do I do? What do I do?” I asked him (it appears that I’m not the best person to be around in a crisis). He didn’t respond so I did the only thing I could think of: I poured a bucket of water on him! No….I called 911. Did you really think I would douse him?

[smartads]

The paramedics came, did what they could manage to do in our small bathroom, and then took him down to their idling ambulance. I, along with our two daughters, arrived at the hospital shortly after the paramedics dropped him off.

As we sat in the waiting room at 3 o’clock in the morning, I felt that my husband would emerge from behind the electronic ER doors at any moment having been cured of whatever ailment brought him there. Four o’clock came and went. Soon it was after 5 AM and I was running out of magazines to shuffle through.

Saying “I’m Sorry” is for the Birds!

Our first video post!

This conversation was sparked by a conversation Anji had with a friend while watching Oprah. Ali MacGraw, the star of the 1970 movie Love Story, was Oprah's guest and she uttered her famous line, "Love means never having to say you're sorry."

What does that mean, anyway?!

[smartads]

Anji's friend looked over at her and asked if she believed in apologizing. Anji said that she does apologize. Her friend, who will remain nameless, said that almost 100 percent of the time, she will NOT apologize. No matter what.

Watch the video above and let us know: what do you think about apologizing? Are there certain times when you will or will not apologize?

How to Get Organized

Show after show on HGTV is built on the dream that many Americans have to get organized and stay that way. I finally figured out the best method.

Better than I can tell you, the picture above clearly shows that we needed to get organized. That is our daughter’s room after a few playdates and after Wil decided that the best place to put the remnants of his “closet makeover” was an already-cluttered space.


After we figured out the magic formula I am going to share with you in a few more sentences, this is the result:

I love it, Wil loves it, and amazingly Truth actually wants to sleep in her room now!

Ok, here is the secret: get rid of stuff! It is a must. This may not be the step-by-step guide that you were hoping for. No hide-away-extra-storage-maximize-your-space-shelving here!

I want you to seriously think about this: do you really need all the stuff that you are so desperately trying to find extra storage for? Why not store it at the Goodwill or a homeless shelter? Someone else can definitely use it—and they probably will use it more than you are these days!

We gave away 11 tall kitchen bags full of clothes, shoes, and accessories from our bedroom closet (sorry, we didn’t take pictures) and five of the same sized bags full of Truth’s clothes, shoes, and toys (pictured below).

Organization, though a great byproduct of giving our possessions away, was not the main goal. We realized that we were becoming slaves to stuff. We work to make money to buy stuff then work to make more money to buy more stuff to keep the stuff that we have nice and neat. Then, we work at home picking up all the stuff and putting it all back in its “nice and neat” spot. Then we yell at our kids and spouses for not keeping their stuff in the right place. Craziness.

In the Bible, there was a man who did a pretty good job at following the commandments but was missing one thing to inherit eternal life. In Luke 18:22, Jesus says, “…sell everything you have and give it to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven.” I think that Jesus said this not because he wanted the man to lose all of his possessions but because he wanted the man to lose the ties that he had with those possessions.

We, in America, take pride in having a well-decorated home or having the newest technology or being a well-dressed family. In the grand scheme of things, what does that matter? In our pursuit of “the dream,” we realized that our focus was being shifted from seeking God to seeking status, style, and more stuff. Our family has now re-shifted and is seeking only God.

"Illegal Aliens," do you want to stay forever?

I am on a journey to read the entire Bible, cover to cover. I don’t have a set timeframe—let’s just say, sometime before I die.

This morning, I opened up to where I ended yesterday: Exodus (whew, do I have a long way to go!). Exodus 22:21 reads:

Do not mistreat an alien or oppress him, for you were aliens in Egypt.

Later in the next chapter, aliens are again discussed. Exodus 23:9 says:

Do not oppress an alien; you yourselves know how it feels to be an alien because you were aliens in Egypt.

Now, I have never been to Egypt and I would never consider myself as having been an “alien” in any point of my life but I still feel that this instruction applies to us today.

The 2006 census recorded that 0.8 percent of the US population identifies themselves as Native American. Not even 1 percent! So, dear reader, it is almost a certainty that your great-great-umpteenth-great grandpappy and mammy descended from some far away land. They migrated here hoping to gain access to increased wages, a higher quality education, and better living conditions for themselves and their family. No matter the reason, they would still be considered—duhn duhn duhn—an alien. Their decision has affected their entire alien family line—all the way up to you.

[smartads]

Many people—many who say they are Christians—are very much opposed to other peoples migrating to “our” land. What if all those years ago your distant relative was not allowed to live here?

I am not very political so maybe there are valid reasons as to why so many people are against “aliens.” Please share. I must pose these questions, though: In the battle between Jesus and politics, who wins? How would Jesus feel about illegal aliens in the United States?

I feel that God cannot be taken out of the equation—ever. I cannot hold a Christian viewpoint for certain issues, and then switch to a worldly viewpoint for other issues. I am a Christian all the time. My opinions and decisions are based on my love for God and His will.

I personally do not have a problem with immigrants in “our” country. Do you? Why or why not? What do you think God feels about this issue?

Showing Skin Around Church Folk

My church held a back-to-school swim party for all the children who were--you guessed it--going back to school. When I learned of the party a week before the event date, I recognized one dilemma: how do you swim around church folk? I don’t necessarily feel comfortable being around people at church clothed in what is equivalent to a bra and underwear and, as a woman, I worry about being a stumbling block to my brothers in Christ. I am not implying that I am any sort of “knock out” but you never know what “does it” for some people—I don’t want to cause any plucking out of eyes (Matthew 18:9)!

I have realized recently, though, that if I don’t feel comfortable engaging in a particular activity around those I attend worship services with, I should not ever feel comfortable doing that activity. WE are the church—not the building in which we raise our hands, sing, and listen to sermons. Wherever WE are, so is the church. I cannot wear my two-piece bikini to the public pool and then find some homely one-piece to wear to church-related water activities.

I am now on a quest to find something comfortable, modest, and somewhat fashionable to wear to the pool—any and all pools.

So far I have found several modest options (some more fashionable than others): swim dresses (who knew there were such things?!), one-pieces, and tankinis. There are also many different kinds of shorts/skirts available. I am especially interested in these options for bottoms because I don’t think we should be okay with showing our butt cheeks to people simply because we have a swim suit on (if your dad’s friend saw you in your underwear, would that be okay?).

I think I am going to get a tankini top with some shorts or a skirted bottom.

What do you do? If you’re a guy, what do you feel about this subject?

Men No Longer Required in Child Rearing

Wil "kindly suggested" that I give up reading gossip magazines—electronic or otherwise. I had a bit of a withdrawal at first but now I am so glad that I rid my life of the “He-slept-with-the-waitress-who-mothered-eight-children-after-her-daddy-paid-for-her-butt-implants” controversies. My life is actually so much more easy-going and stress free. Amazing but true.

Today, as I was checking out at the grocery store I was looking at on of the magazines. A big name female celebrity apparently said, “I don’t need a man to be a mom.” Really? I was under some crazy impression that that is how it works. Boy meets girl. Boy and girl fall in love and marry. Girl wants to be a mom. Boy impregnates girl. The boy is no longer needed in the equation? Interesting.

Obviously, the star was not implying that she found some sperm-free way to make a baby. She was, however, saying that she can find her own way to have a baby whether it be the old-fashioned way, in a test tube, or by adopting AND she can raise the child on her own—without a man to father it.

Our society is going in the totally wrong direction! Men are so pivotal in the upbringing of children. I am a mother and I love my children but no amount of my love can make up for them having a father. A woman cannot properly play the role of a man. I am not, in any way, trying to discount the work of many single mothers out there. No matter how I slice and dice it, though, no matter how strong the woman is, a woman is just not a substitute for man!

A man is the head of the household. Period. That is the way God intended it and that is the way it should be. Any deviation away from this standard causes havoc in homes and, in turn, our world.

What do you think?