Our Life on Christ

Sunday, November 27, 2011

Is 15 Too Young to Lose Your Virginity?

I am part of an "opinion community" (I guess that's the best way to describe it) called Soda Head. The question "Is 15 too young to lose your virginity" was posted a few days ago in response to an interview with Sex in the City star, Kim Cattrall.

Kim lost her virginity when she was 15 and has repeatedly said that is one of her regrets. "I should not have had sex so young. I lost my virginity at 15 and thought, 'Is that it?' I was not ready for the experience. It set a pattern after that. I was not expecting a great deal from sex -- and I did not get it either," she reportedly told The Sun.

The author of the Soda Head article said that she thinks that this teen sex issue has been "clouded so long by fear and moral judgment that people are not even sure WHY teens should abstain." She said that she will help her kids to make an informed decision about sex be telling them about: birth control, condoms, the emotional ties that sex creates, how reputations are effected by sex, and about the lifespan of high school romances.

There were mixed responses on the forum.  A substantial amount of people said that it is not too young and a larger group of people said that it is too young. Larger still was another group: the "it depends" people.

In my opinion, asking this question without a frame of reference such as what culture the 15-year-old belongs to, would produce the "it depends" answers. In certain cultures, kids are married with one or two children before they would legally be old enough to drive in America.

So here is the question rephrased:

In America, is 15 too young to lose your virginity? Why or why not?

The Bible Says:

In 1 Corinthians 6:16 it says,

"...Two will become one flesh...All other sins are outside the body but he who sins sexually against his own body...Your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit...Therefore honor God with your body."
In Hebrews 13:4 it says,
"Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure..."
My Opinion, confession, and plan:

Very predictable answer but, oh well: WAIT UNTIL MARRIAGE! I don't think there is a "good age." I didn't wait until marriage but I wish I would have. If you're not going to wait until you're married, if you are not holding yourself and your kids to that standard--God's standard--why wait until you have a certain number of birthdays?

For my daughters, I plan to show them what living for God in every area of your life looks like. I pray that they will follow my lead and strive to please God with their actions; I pray that they will be patient, unlike their mama, and wait.

If you feel that 15 it is too young, what age is a "good age"? What will you do (or are you doing) to prevent your children from engaging in sex before a specific time?


  1. I believe that 15 is too young. At that age, it is hard to see all of the risks associated with sex. I think that everyone should wait until 18 or older.

  2. [...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Anji Mabon, Anji Mabon. Anji Mabon said: Is 15 too young to lose your virginity?? Read/comment here: http://ow.ly/33ZGk [...]

  3. Thanks for the comment, Dana! So what is the significance about 18? Just curious...

  4. No significance about 18, I realistically think that people should just wait until they have a good understanding of the consequences of sex. That might not happen until after 18. But based on my experiences I don't think it happens before!

  5. Oh yeah, I definitely don't think it happens before age 18! You don't think waiting until marriage is good? I didn't wait until then but I really wish I had! Do you think it's an unrealistic expectation/standard/hope for our society?

  6. In Society today, 15 actually is an old age to lose your virginity. Now a days, 10 & 11 year old's are having sex. Young girls & boys are under so much pressure to have sex. Definitely we need to keep this young generation in our prayers.

  7. This is very true, Jenelle. So sad. We definitely need to hold up our kids in prayer. I really limit what my daughter can watch because I want to minimize her exposure to it. I know I can't shelter her because she needs to know what's going on in our world but I think that allowing her to watch certain things kind of ingrains things in her mind and conditions her to think certain things are okay, acceptable, and expected.

  8. Yes, Yes, Yes!! I do agree to a degree, that understanding sex and all that comes with it does come when you are older in age. Was I an individual who did not wait until marriage, yes... before 18, yes. And I am one of those statistics of being a teenaged mother.

    My daughter is now going on 11. We have already talked about the female's body, and what comes with it (clothes, protrayal, cleaniness, etc). Has her 10 year old mind been able to truly understand the importance of what her body will protray, no.I have boughten her books that come from a Christian base on how to care for her body. Do I still have a lot more explaining to do, yes... she is only 10, that will come with time. But, it is a duty as her mother, and who loves her to explain to the best of my ability the importance of what she will experience one day in her life.

    To say the least, girls and boys under the age of 18, will truly never get a full understanding of what sex truly means and how to be responsible in handling sex, unless the parent or guardian makes it clear.

    I can probably say, that the majority of people I know, found out, discovered, experienced sex without any parental involvement on the subject.

  9. Thanks for the comment, Tish!

    It is true: MOST of the people I know had sexual encounters without any parental involvement. It seemed that the parents felt like if they didn't talk about it, the kids wouldn't find out about it but the opposite was true.

    I'm glad you are talking to your daughter about the subject NOW!

  10. I have so much to say on this post...

    My husband waited until he was 18 to have sex, but when he did it opened Pandora's box. He ended up being a father by the age of 20 and was not prepared for what was to come. I was 17 when I degraded my body and had sex for the first time. Looking back, I didn't do it because society pushed me, I did it because I was sick of being accused of doing it when I wasn't by a parental figure. We as parents have to be mindful not only of what we let our children watch, but who we let our children around. Even family can be a horrid influence.

    My son is only 3 and we are already educating him on the male and female body (which is kinda embarrassing when he just calls out in a store that Mami has a Gina). We do this because I don't want some idiot kid trying to fill my son's head with things that are foreign to him. We limit what he watches, but even the bilboards are sex-crazed, and the way these young women walk around showing everything I have to constantly remind my son that that is not how a woman should portray herself.

    My step daughter is 15 and it is even hard to tell my son that his sister does not dress like a young lady should. That is going to be conflict for him later because he loves his sister and I wouldn't change that, but trying to get her to understand that she is tainting his view on how a woman in love with Christ should be is another story.

    We plan on encouraging our son (and future child) to wait until God places another person in your life for marriage before you share yourself. We will also use our experiences as "what-not-to-do".

  11. I couldn't agree with you more. I'm not proud to say this but I degraded my body a lot earlier than the two of you. Looking back on it I think about how often I exposed myself to the possibility of contracting a STD. I'm fortunate that I didn't and because of my past I have no choice but to equip my daughters with the ability to make sound biblical decisions. I'm with you on the fact that you should be the first person to educate your child on particular subjects. If you don't, they will learn it from what they see on TV, hear on a song or from some random kid at school or in the neighborhood. Maybe not the neighborhood--do kids even play out side anymore? Lol. Well anyways thanks for the comment, you are definitely on point with it.

  12. Thanks for commenting, Candice!

    I laughed SO hard when I read, "Mami has a Gina"! Funny, funny. We actually started telling Truth, our 5-year-old, about the differences between men and women when she was three, as well. That's when she started asking, so we told her. We read her a book and it had cute cartoon pictures...it was funny when she would just randomly draw a tadpole-looking figure swimming to a circle. It was fun explaining that to people.

    Wil and I will definitely use our experiences as a "what-not-to-do," also! This is just such a difficult subject in our society. It's not so difficult to talk about, it's just difficult to "control" the outcome of the discussions. In the end, each child is going to make their own decision. I am just hoping that with a God foundation and good communication at home, our children will wait! *Please, please, please!

  13. [...] Blog Archive » Hells Bells cover gibson SG relationship/love advice needed.? | Mate Corner Is 15 Too Young to Lose Your Virginity? | Our Life On Christ The Jesus fetus: Lovely or ludicrous? | BabyCenter On the Beach Cottage Deck with the Adirondack [...]

  14. I don't think it is necessarily a bad age to have sex if you know your in love, I'm 15 and me and my girlfriend have been together for more than a year, and to be honest I think your giving a very prejudiced view on the men in relationships. I love her and I know I love her, I'd do anything to protect her and make sure she's safe and happy, and we have had sex. If anything it has bought us closer, and we used protection so there was no pregnancy to worry about or anything, and I think that your feministic view on this is wrong, and you might think that I'm being harsh, but you're the sort of person that calls a child 'truth'. That isn't a Childs name? Thanks for reading ;)

  15. Hello Steve,

    First, I would like to say thank you for your comment. I appreciate you taking the time to express yourself and your openness. Now for the issue at hand: you don't think that 15 is necessarily a bad age to have sex. Okay, you have every right to feel that way. We're not here to tell people how to live there lives, we're just here expressing our thoughts, beliefs and experiences. When I was 15 I was sexually active, at the time, I thought I was mature enough to handle it as well. Now that I'm 28, soon to be 29 in a few weeks, I'm nearly twice that age. I'm in a position now where I understand just how immature I was at 15. Don't take this as I'm calling you immature, I'm just speaking about myself at 15. Steve, there's a lot of responsibility that comes with having sex. I'm sure you've heard it all by now, from school (health class), parents, coaches, mentors, church leaders and everyone else under the sun that you shouldn't have sex until you're married. So I'll spare you that song and dance. What I am going to do is ask you three very simple and to the point questions. How you answer them will greatly dictate if we can even continue.

    1. Do you believe you're of age to be called a man?
    2. Do you believe in God, the Father of Jesus Christ?
    3. Do you want to continue this conversation, or were you just commenting to be seen or heard?

    I look forward to your responses. Talk to you soon!