Our Life on Christ

Sunday, November 27, 2011

Men No Longer Required in Child Rearing

Wil "kindly suggested" that I give up reading gossip magazines—electronic or otherwise. I had a bit of a withdrawal at first but now I am so glad that I rid my life of the “He-slept-with-the-waitress-who-mothered-eight-children-after-her-daddy-paid-for-her-butt-implants” controversies. My life is actually so much more easy-going and stress free. Amazing but true.

Today, as I was checking out at the grocery store I was looking at on of the magazines. A big name female celebrity apparently said, “I don’t need a man to be a mom.” Really? I was under some crazy impression that that is how it works. Boy meets girl. Boy and girl fall in love and marry. Girl wants to be a mom. Boy impregnates girl. The boy is no longer needed in the equation? Interesting.

Obviously, the star was not implying that she found some sperm-free way to make a baby. She was, however, saying that she can find her own way to have a baby whether it be the old-fashioned way, in a test tube, or by adopting AND she can raise the child on her own—without a man to father it.

Our society is going in the totally wrong direction! Men are so pivotal in the upbringing of children. I am a mother and I love my children but no amount of my love can make up for them having a father. A woman cannot properly play the role of a man. I am not, in any way, trying to discount the work of many single mothers out there. No matter how I slice and dice it, though, no matter how strong the woman is, a woman is just not a substitute for man!

A man is the head of the household. Period. That is the way God intended it and that is the way it should be. Any deviation away from this standard causes havoc in homes and, in turn, our world.

What do you think?


  1. I agree, ideally every child would be raised by with mother and father but the truth is that single parenthood has become the norm because of irresponsible people. People fail to realize that a child is a life-changing event. When you have a child you should be fully aware that you are responsible for shaping their life, ideals. perceptions. People are too careless and then children come along as a result and then they don't know how to deal with it (men) so they run or proceed to simply exist around the child with no real involvement. I don't think that a woman should seek to become a single mother just to experience the joy of child-rearing. If she can't find a compatible relationship and provide a good example of a healthy relationship to a child- then she has no business raising a child. I feel like people attempt to distort reality too much. They know the truth, but something inside them just wants to be the exception to the rule and prove to everyone or may just themselves that they themselves were able to change reality. Seems like a God complex to me.

  2. Wow, Kelli! Thanks for the feedback. This is a major issue that somehow needs to turn around...

  3. I've seen you repost this several times, and I've finally decided to read it. While generally I agree with you, your last paragraph is a bit harsh and it irritates me.

    I've been without a husband for over 2.5 years. I have two little girls age 7 and 11. It's not that I don't want a husband, I do. But I'm not going to run right out and get one like it's a jug of milk. My life is not utter chaos and we aren't wrecking havoc on the world. (Unless you count tearing a haitian hillside apart with a pickax and shovel to build the foundation of a church.)

    Do I have major support from my family? No. Strong male influence in our life? No not really. And nobody seems really interested in filling that role, not even my brother. I have a great church family and I lean on Jesus to fill that need for us. And I really don't hear any strong words from him saying that it's time to get married again. If/when He says it's time, then it will be time. So your closing words irritate me. And Wal-Mart shoes do us just fine... what good use does anybody really have for Manolos?!

  4. @Sara Dailey - Anji is not stating that single mothers need to run out and get a man. What she is saying, is that there's women out there who are willingly bringing children into the world that will not have a father--by her choice. God obviously didn't make us asexual, so why do people violate his process to fulfill our own personal desires? I grew up not knowing my father, therefore my mom had to play the father's role as well. She provide love, support and guidance such as I'm sure you are doing for your children, however, just because women are capable of doing so, doesn't justify the action. It's not what God intended!

    Men are pivotal in the upbringing of children. I can't even see how this statement can even be debatable! But I will say that the Wal-Mart and Manolo shoes comparison may not have been the best analogy, it seem that comparison stood out more than the actual message. We will take that analogy out because we don't want to give off the wrong impression, we don't wear high fashion, nor do we desire it. So thank you for reading the post and for responding with honesty and emotion!

    God Bless you sister, I'll pray that God continues to give you the strength, discernment and wisdom to lead your family.

  5. Thanks Wil (And Anji for posting)
    I completely agree the belief with men being pivotal in bringing up children. Thanks for sharing your experience. As for women chosing to bring children without a father- you are right- It's not God's best for us.

    I guess what irritated me is that it isn't always a choice. Certainly not for me and other young widowed mothers and even moms who have been left by men who have decided they don't want to be married anymore. I also know a woman who has fostered and adopted two babies who were born addicted to drugs, and whose 'parents' refuse to get help. These little girls need a father too - but they are much safer with this single mom (a sweet loving teacher with no natural children) than with their crackhead parents.

    Rather than argue with you, I think I should have gently highlighted the situation of people who don't have a choice. For that I apologize!!! I hope that your lives will touch someone who perhaps is thinking about chosing to start a 'family' without a loving husband.

    Thanks for praying for me. I often consider the fact that my children are growing up without an earthly father. I'm just believing in the God's promise to be a Father for the fatherless. I hope he decides to bless us with a wonderful man to be a good spirtual leader in our home - I'll take it!!!

  6. Thanks, Sara! You were right, the Manolo comment was a bit harsh. I didn't mean for it to be but I can see how it could be taken that way. At the time when I wrote it, I think I was irritated by what I saw on the magazine cover. I know certain situations force women into being single mothers; I was just put off by the fact that someone would choose that just for "the fun" of it. Rescuing needy children is great and I didn't even think about that when I was writing.

    Much love to you and we will continue to pray for you and your girls!